I have a friend that texts me inspirational messages every morning of my life, since Ben passed away. She’s on the East Coast, so her messages are awaiting me each day when I wake up at 6 am. Last Friday, she texted a message that really hit home:
“Mangku was our guide up a mountain in Bali to watch the sunrise. He was quiet on the way up guiding us step by step through the steep terrain. We didn’t really talk much until the sun was up and he started playing his guitar. It was missing two strings, but it didn’t matter. He told us how he lost his wife and also a daughter. So his life was now devoted to his son. And that this was what he did to find peace. He loved meeting new people and hiking and playing his guitar and fishing. It made him happy. Happiness is a fight, he told us.”
I realized we all develop coping mechanisms after loss. Mine is similar to Mangku’s. My life is now devoted to my daughters. It is what I have done to find peace. Even if it is as simple as running with my youngest in the afternoon or helping my oldest with homework…..they are now my life. I love them to the moon and back. They are my everything. Through each stage of life, I find them needing me less and less. Through this process though, they have become my friends. Actually, they are my best friends.
For those of you facing loss, I wish you your own individual peace.